This blog is self-indulgent and not. It's everything that happens in my world as a woman and the worlds of the women I know. It's about the issues that motivate us and give us pause. It's about pushing ourselves as women to follow our inspirations and paths. To live outside of our fears, pasts, hurts, past hurts, hindrances, road blocks and live in our strengths, joys, abundance and truths. Let's talk about it all. Ride with me. I want to hear from you! GUEST BLOGGERS are very welcome!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Zoe
Zoe - the other love of my life. Every time I look at her I think - Gosh I love her! I also think - man this is rough work. Half the time I'm exhausted tired, the other half of the time she energizes me.
This is my first blog ever - so why is my first post about my beautiful, innocent, demanding, precious, best thing I ever did, sweet daughter? Because since she came along, not just as my daughter but also as another woman (eventually), I've just become more aware of my role as wife, mother, sister, friend. More aware of (my) our industriousness as women. Proverbs 31. How much we do and the many ways we do it. Most women I know are always performing a personal juggling act. BUT while juggling the balls of their daily personal struggles they somehow end up in a circle surrounded by everyone they know, throwing their own balls into her personal juggling act all the while screaming, "don't drop my ball!". (whew! never used the word balls so many times in one sentence lol).
Now this is not groundbreaking news...BUT I do believe most women (me) have a moment like the one that I'm having now, when you just realize...THERE IS SO MUCH TO BE DONE...I HAVE TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT...there is help yes, oh but there is still so much and I am standing in the circle. For me that moment has been this week, when my life, quite different from 5 years ago has been filled with, a daughter who cries desperately when I'm not in the room, whose need for me slightly scares frightens me, a husband who works so hard and really needs my encouragement, preparing to go back to finish a master's degree, fear of daycare (one that has pushed back her start date), a brother whose path requires guidance and work (meeting expectations) and honestly, fear. Fear.of.failure. Dropping the balls (there's that word again).
Now am I really going to fail? Probably not. Doesn't stop me from having those moments. But this is my point (see video). This blog post is dedicated to Zoe because when all is said and done, if making her happy is as simple as picking the right body lotion for her - then I'm good.( Johnson&Johnson - you owe me for this one). For her, silly faces and the right lotion = contentment. She's my reminder, that all it takes is baby steps (ha!). For that I will always love these early moments with my beautiful, innocent, demanding, precious, best thing I ever did, sweet Zoe. Let the games begin!
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